


IYUENI

by stubman



Category: Show By Rock!! - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, the ihop fic we were all waiting for....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 06:46:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8738830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stubman/pseuds/stubman
Summary: Yaiba & Aion get new part time jobs at IHOP, shenanigans ensure.





	

It was a long night of practicing for The Boyz, but all their hard work had paid off, their new song was mastered to perfection.

"We sound so good guys, I think this is our best song yet!" Crow licks Red Tomahawk.

Aion twirls his own hair around on a fork and eats it, “Even this dark sun God is impressed by your lyrics today, rodent.”

Gwunk gwunk gwunk. “Ah sorry, that was my dick slapping against the drum set. Good job today guys.” Rom exclaims.

Yaiba glances towards the clock and his eyes widen. "A-Ah! It's this late already." He quickly starts packing up his things.

"You have plans?" Rom lubes up his muscles.

"My shift is starting at my new part-time job. I need the money.. It's n-"

"Why do you need the money?" Crow walks over to Rom and silently slips a condom over one of his drumsticks. Nobody mentions it. "Don't you already have a part-time job?"

"Bad Dragons prices went up."

"Oh." The rest of them say in unison. They understand.

Crow begins packing away his instrument as well, “So, where do you work?”

“IHOP, Aion works there too, hence-”

“WHHHAAAT? Aion works there too? That’s surprising.. Him working.. Ha..Haha...”

Aion moves his hand away from his face and points a single digit at Crow, index finger extending an inch in length. A threat.

“OI!” Rom punches all three of them, sending them flying across the room. “Settle down!”

Crow twitches violently on the floor, Aion stays frozen sprawled out, and Yaiba puts those legs to WORK and springs back up instantly.

“I’m late! Yueni!” And he’s out the door in a flash.

“The dark sun God must depart too, we have the same shift.” Aion slams his guitar into its case and chucks it out the window, leaving the room in the same manner.

“Oh those guys..” Rom says fondly, looking at the shattered glass everywhere. “Hey why are you naked?”

Crow lays himself across his bf’s drumset, “You know why. ”

Rom’s barbed dick pulsates.

The only thing that can be heard from outside the room is hard intense drum slamming, Cyan walks by and pauses.

“They’re still practicing so late into the night.. Amazing.” She murmurs to herself, admiring how dedicated ShinganCrimsonz are.

Twenty minutes later and the drum heads are torn and Crow’s bleeding everywhere from the barbs. It was amazing.

“Hey babe,” Crow drinks some of the lube in a tube to cool off. “I’m kinda hungry, we should go eat at the place Yaiba and Aion work.”

“Sounds good, I love breakfast food at odd times in the middle of the night.” Rom does the flex where his thiddies bounce.

They both gallop out the door at intense speeds, like a pack of wildebeest ready to kill Mufasa.

* * *

Yaiba sighs as he wipes down a table, those customers were really rowdy, but at least they tipped well. When the area is all clean he makes his way back to the front of the restaurant, ready to seat the next patrons.

The doors slam open and in stroll two familiar faces. “Hey buddy, we’re here for the grub.” Crow declares, leaning against the hostess podium and wiggling his ass.

“ORE WA ROMU!” Rom rips off his shirt, lube spurting everywhere.

Yaiba grabs two menus and smiles, “Follow me to your table. Hence-”

Crow cuts him off by slapping his nuts off.

When his bandmates are seated, Yaiba hands them their menus and takes out his little notepad. “Welcome.. to your final resting place.”

“...”

“My name is Yaiba and I’ll be your server today, can I start you off with some drinks, yueni?”

Crow already knows what he wants. “I’d like some milk.”

“Alright.” Yaiba sets the notepad aside and pulls back his open jacket, revealing a nipple. “Drink up.”

Crow blushes slightly, “I-In public?!” He looks around to the completely empty booths, “Everyone will see…”

“I’ll milk myself in private and deposit it in a glass then.” He scribbles that down. “And you, Rom?”

The alien inside Rom freezes. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What kind of drink does this guy like? Think, hurry, everyone's staring. Fuck.

“Hard motherfucking vodka.” He slams hardly down on the table.

SHIT!! They don’t serve goddamn vodka at an IHOP, it’s over, his cover's blown, h-

“Sure thing.” Yaiba writes that down. “I’ll be right back then, yueni.”

Oh. Okay.

“Wow, I wouldn’t think they’d have alcohol at a breakfast place?” Crow ponders.

“Haha, I knew they would.” The alien breathes a sigh of relief, that was a close one.

"Rom.. Are you okay?"

"Rom?"

Yaiba walks back to the booth, ass bouncing with each step, and sets their drinks down. “It’s nice and warm for you.” He winks at Crow.

The bell on the door rings, signaling more people have entered. “Ah, hence, if you’ll excuse me.” Yaiba sashays away.

Crow gobbles down his breastmilk and Rom looks at him adoringly, they both flip open their menus to see what they want.

At the front entrance, Shuzo takes off his shades as he walks in, even though it’s night and completely dark outside. Kai is next to him, holding onto his arm lovingly.

“Hello, welcome to IH-” Yaiba freezes upon seeing who he’ll be serving.

“Hiya~” Shuzo waves.

There’s no one else on waiting shift tonight.. he’s going to have to take this one. Yaiba takes two menus and nods towards the pair, “Follow me, yueni..” At least the tip should be good.

Yaiba walks back towards Rom and Crow's booth, staring at them like

The shingays look confused at the look before noticing who’s walking behind their bassist. Oh no. Rom immediately chugs his entire glass of vodka, he’s gonna need it.

Yaiba stares at his pals, a look of sorrow and pleading on his face. _“Please,”_ He thinks internally as he sits Shuzo and Kai in the booth right next to theirs, _“Forgive me, there’s no other empty seats.”_

“Oho? Rom?” Shuzo >:3’s at him.

Rom only grunts in response, crossing his arms.

“Here you are.” Yaiba is sweating as he hands them their menus. “Drinks?”

Kai looks to Rom and Crow, then to Yaiba, then back to Rom and Crow, then back to Yaiba. “Oh! Didn’t you guys open for us once?”

“Uh huh…” Crow sips his milk.

“Aha! I knew it! Shingledingles, right?”

Shuzo quickly turns his head to the side, snorting and laughing into his hand, trying to make it seem like a cough.

“It’s Shingancrimsonz.” Crows grip tightens on his glass.

“That’s what I said.”

“You said Shingledingles.”

“Yeah, Crimganshinsonz.”

Roms eyebrow twitches.

“Shingancrimsonz.”

“CrimpleShimples.”

“Shingancrimsonz.”

“Shirorakurosuka?”

“That’s a completely different band! Shin. Gan. Crim. Sonz.”

“Shitgolpcrolppolp.”

Crow abruptly rises from his seat, “OH THAT’S IT!”

Rom punches himself in the face, “Not in the restaurant! Don’t do this here, you'll cause a scene.”

Crow takes a deep breath and sighs, sitting back down, glaring at Kai who pokes his tongue out in triumph.

“This is why I love you.” Shuzo smiles at his bf.

“I love you too!!” Kai grins.

Yaiba clears his throat, tapping his notepad with his pen, “I’m still waiting on drinks, guys, yueni-”

“Ah, Rom, what did you get?” Shuzo asks innocently.

“Vodka. I knew you were coming.”

“I’d like some of that too, but make it _twice_ as strong!”

“You’re a real bitch you know that.” Rom deadpans.

Shuzo snickers in response.

Kai looks to Yaiba, “Can I just get an empty glass?”

“An empty glass?”

“Yeah.” He winks.

“Okay..” Yaiba jots that down suspiciously. “I’ll be right back then, hence-”

“Thank you!☆” Shuzo flashes a peace sign.

“...”

On his way towards the kitchen, a fallen piece of sausage catches Yaiba off guard. He steps on it unknowingly and flies backwards.  
  
  
“Y-YUENI!” He shouts as he smashes onto the fucking floor. Ass in pain, but not as much pain as it was in when he woke up this morning. 

Back at the booth, a heavy awkward silence falls before the four musicians before Shuzo and Kai begin playing footsies.

Vodka all gone, Rom took to taking bites out of his glass to ease his stress. Crow flips through his menu idly, still undecided on what he wants.

“See anything you like yet?” Rom asks through loud crunching.

“Nothing on this menu looks as juicy as you~”

“That’s fucking gross.” Shuzo cuts in, foot rubbing on Kai’s crotch under the table.

“HEY.” Rom sinks his teeth into the remainder of his glass, staring angrily. “Don’t fuck with… Don’t fuck with me.”

“U-uguwaah..” Kai pants.

* * *

On the other side of the restaurant, in a great seat where he can observe his prey, Riku eats his pancakes in silence. Tonight was his night, a night of relaxation and treating himself. He sat alone in his booth and enjoyed his solitude. It was nice having a break from Shuzo and Kai every once in awhile. While he does love and care about them deeply they tend to be.. eccentric. He’s a more quiet mellow fellow.

As he nibbles on his pancakes, he glances towards the kitchen door. Every now and then an employee will go in and out, yet so far nobody has noticed what Riku has. The finger.

It’s the kind of door that swings open both ways, so at all times there's an empty space in the middle, which is where the finger is poking out from. Every so often it will extend farther in length, at first Riku thought whoevers finger that belonged to was just moving closer to the door, but now the finger has extended past a myumons physical capabilities. He was dealing with an expert here.

Riku doesn’t understand. He is scared and confused. He just wants to eat in peace. It was about seven inches long now, frozen in midair. A man with an open shirt and glasses walks out of the kitchen, not making any note of the unmoving finger.

Riku sighs into his forkful of pancake. It was gonna be a long night.

* * *

Yaiba places the vodka two times stronger than Rom's in front of Shuzo, and the empty glass in front of Kai. He sees that they’re both still flipping through their menus. “Take your time, yueni.”

The filthy slut turns to Rom and Crow, “You guys ready?”

“Mmhh yeah.” Crow opens his menu to the order he wants.

Yaiba leans down to see, bent over and resting his hands on their table, his backside jutted out. Shuzo stares wide eyed at the butt that happens to be right in his face, whispering to Kai, “Next time the waiter pull some shit like this imma eat his ass to teach him a lesson.” He sips his drink.

“Can I have the pancakes and eggs.” Crow points to it on the menu.

“What kind of eggs.”

“...Sunny side up is fine.”

Yaiba scribbles it down and looks at Rom.

“Yeah can I just get a shitload of bacon.”

“As expected, I know how much you like your meat, hence-”

“Thanks.” Rom closes his menu and hands it to him, Crow following suit.

Before Yaiba can leave, Crow makes a low whistling sound, gesturing for him to come over again. He leans down and Crow nonchalantly whispers in his ear, “I want them raw.”

“The eggs?” Yaiba whispers back.

“The eggs. Gimmie my eggs raw. I have to assert my dominance, Trichronika is _right there!_ They need to see who’s in charge around here.”

Yaiba nods understandingly, going to the kitchen to put the orders in.

* * *

Aion sobs against the stove, face sizzling on the hot coils. He wasn’t cut out for this, working here was a mistake. He stares at the orders piling up and sighs, standing up on wobbly feet and opening his jacket, a bunch of frozen Jimmy Dean breakfast meals fall out.

“They’ll never have to know..” Aion whispers to himself as he places a sausage meal into the microwave. “They’ll never have to know that I’m not a real chef..”

The only job available at the time when Aion applied was a cook. He had no choice but to take it, he was desperate. So he lied and said he could whip out great breakfasts, they bought it right up. But now he was in trouble, he hadn’t cooked a single day in his life. He got the job so he could make money not spend it on Jimmy Dean meals to serve to the customers.

In his stressed out state, Aion has an arm stretched out towards the door, a singular finger poking out. A cry for help.

“How are you holding up back here, my Big Chungo?” Yaiba pushes past the swinging doors, completely ignoring the finger, already well used to its presence “Here’s the next order, hence-”

“GuwuhAUUGHwhaHG!” Aion makes that choking sound he does sometimes, like when going into heat, and sinks to the floor once more.

“Well, I’m glad things are going well. Bye” Yaiba waddles away, asscrack salivating.

From the ground, Aion grabs the paper with his unoccupied hand and reads it to himself.

“-pancakes  
~~-eggs~~  
-a shitload of bacon (you know how rom likes it)  
-raw eggs”

The guitarist rips open a box of pancakes, slapping them into the microwave right on top of the sausages that he never took out. Then he lays back down, surrounded by Jimmy Dean boxes and sobs.

* * *

Yaiba walks backwards so his ass is out towards the booths. He stops in front of Shuzo and Kai. “Are you ready to order?”

“Hi! Can I have the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity® Pancakes.” Shuzo fans himself with the menu before handing it back to Yaiba.

Kai hurls his menu at him, “I’ll take the cock waffles.”

Yaiba writes both orders down, winks, then disappears into thin air.

“I’ll be back, I need to use the bathroom.” Rom sits up and walks away.

Kai squints, twiddles his thumbs, then stands up too, “Same.”

“Okay darling~” Shuzo waves him goodbye.

Crows fuckin dead on the table mates.

In the restroom, Kai walks in on Rom taking a wazz.

“Woah! Monster schlong alert! Haha just kidding.” Kai slaps him on the back playfully. “But seriously. Back off.”

 

“Back off.”

 

“I know you and Shuzo had a little thing together in the past, so I just wanted to let you know that’s how it’ll stay. A thing in the past. Back off. He’s mine now.”

“Yeah uh, you can have him.” Rom zips himself back up and goes to wash his hands.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Kai glares, rolling up his sleeves ready to defend Shuzo.

“I don’t want him at all bro.” Rom flicks water from the sink at the other drummer. “Don’t fuck with me, okay?” He poses.

 

 

 They both throw a punch at the same time, each aiming for the others face.

“Gwah!”

“Unmpf!”

Kai holds his lip, Rom holds his nose. They go in for the kill again.

“Munpph!”

“Achwk!”

As they keep wailing on each other, Shuzo sighs in his seat. Kai’s been gone for a while, he's getting lonely. He decides to text him to keep him company while he’s taking what Shuzo can only assume is the longest piss in history.

The Kim Possible tune that goes off before she says “What’s the sitch?” goes off in the bathroom.

“Ah hold on I got a text.” Kai pauses in his punching.

“Okay dude go ahead.” Rom uses this as an opportunity to finish washing his hands.

Kai types in his phone password, shuzofucker69, and opens the new message from his baby boo.

 

The drummer happily replies with “I’ll be back soon sugarplum, Rom and I are fisting!”

Shuzo spits out his two times stronger than Rom’s vodka across the table when he reads the new message. “WHHAAAATT?!” He croaks with that dashing dreamy swexy voice of his. I nutted just thinking about it.

Crow wakes up from his nap, sees it was just the sparklewolf, and promptly passes back out.

♪ Do do doo doo ♪ Goes Kai’s phone again, “What’s the sitch?” He says to himself while seeing the new message.

“I MEANT FIST FIGHTING*****” Kai hastily replies, sweating.

Rom stares straight ahead, its been two hours under the automatic hand dryer and his hands are _still_ wet.

Kai climbs onto the sink and juts his hip out, “Okay I’m done texting, LET'S DO THIS BIG BOY.” He jumps on top of Rom as if he were crowd surfing.

Rom immediately whips off his shirt, bolting to the side and punching Kai in the gut, while he’s preoccupied by that sudden attack, he hops up and smashes him in the face.

Kai spits out blood, clutching his stomach and chuckling to himself.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Fufu.. You can’t hurt me..”

Rom raises an eyebrow.

Kai smirks a bloodied lip, “I’m a masochist.” He swings his leggy up and roundhouse kicks Rom in the nose.

Blood trickles down his nostril, except it’s not any ordinary blood, it’s a thick dark blue color.

“Dude wtf” Kai’s gaze zeros in on the spot.

“Shit..” The alien inside Rom stares at him, his eyes flickering black like a shitty superwholock tumblr post and Kai freezes, ready to summon the tardis.

“I bleed red, just like the rest of you. You got it?”

“Okay.” Kai affirms, completely under the trance.

The alien sighs in relief and Rom's eyes flicker back to normal, he hurries out of the bathroom. Kai collapses and lays on the ground, in a daze from the hypnotism.

Rom struts back to his seat, his strong alpha male scent immediately waking Crow up.  
  
“!!!” Crow !’s at his bf.

“Where’s Kai, the puppet master who cursed my dick?” Shuzo inquires.  
  
  
“You know i had to do it to em”

“Motherfucker.” Shuzo dashes to the bathroom for his love, elf heels clicking with each step.

He slams open the bathroom door, only to see Kai laying face down on the floor. “Sugar booger!” Shuzo cradles him in his arms.

“Father... I Crave Cheddar.” Kai weakly rasps out.  
  
  
  
Shuzo nods knowingly, and takes out the tiny cubes of cheese from his pocket, slowly feeding Kai.

An older man myumon walks into the bathroom to take a piss, he pauses upon noticing the couple on the floor.

“Get. Out.” Shuzo seethes, fur rising.

He U-turns the hell out of there. He’s smart enough to know not to mess with an alpha during knotting season.

“Kai.. babe.. there’s no more.” Shuzo laments as Kai chews on the last piece of cheddar.

Before Kai can get wrapped up in misery, Shuzo smirks, “But…there is something else.” He gestures to his bulge.

  
  


Shuzo whips off his pants.

Kai whips off his.

They passionately 69 on the floor of the IHOP bathroom, it’s incredible and many nuts were busted. They are in love.

* * *

In the kitchen, all of the meals are done thanks to Jimmy Dean, except Crow's raw eggs.

Aion stares at it on the notepad, perplexed. He shuffles through his frozen breakfast meal boxes, finding many which include cooked eggs, but no raw eggs.

His finger poking outside the door is two yards now, how has nobody seen it yet and come to his aid? He extends it a little more, please, anyone…

Rikus eyes bulge out of his head. It’s so close, it’s so fucking close, if he reached out he could touch it. What does he do? Does he just ignore the finger a foot away from his face? Oh god it’s growing. Riku begins trembling, dousing his pancakes in more syrup.

“Ah, yueni..” Yaiba walks in on the disheveled Aion, patting his back reassuringly.

“How… How do I make this?” Aion weakly points to the raw eggs on the list.

“It’s alright, I can take it from here, hence-”

Aion immediately passes out on the floor.

Yaiba smirks, reaching into his back pocket and taking out an egg.

“P-Please, don’t do this Yaiba, I can change, j-”

“Silence old man, it’s no use. I’ve made up my mind.”

Maple weeps as Yaibas nails begin digging into his flesh, threatening to tear him open.

“I-I’ll book you guys as many gigs as you want! You’ll actually get paid for your performances! P-Please,” His gooey insides begin to seep out. “Just give me another chance.”  
  
"It's over." A loud sickening crack reverberates throughout the kitchen as Maple Arisugawa screams in agony, his intestines piling up on the plate Yaiba laid out.

The evil is defeated. Yaiba smiles in victory.

Now with all the meals done, the stone cold filthy slut piles the plates onto two trays and wiggles out the door, still ignoring Aion's finger that continues to grow even in his sleep.

* * *

It’s here. The meal is ruined.  
  
  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Riku notices his brother and Shuzo stumbling out of the bathroom. Great, they were here too.

* * *

The lovebirds make it back to their booth right as Yaiba comes with everyone's meals, perfect timing.

“Here are your pancakes and raw egg.” He hands Crow a plate with a singular pancake still frozen in the middle and Maple’s remains, the other having no clue he’s about to eat their former manager.

“Your shitload of bacon.” Bits and pieces of bacon fall off the plate with each movement, there’s way too much piled up.

Yaiba turns to the Trichronika pair, placing a plate in front of Shuzo, “Here is your Legendary Or-”

“Ah no, I ordered the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity® Pancakes.”

“Yes, the Legendary Orde-”

“No I ordered the Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity® Pancakes.”

“I’m well aware,” Yaiba pushes up his glasses, “The Legendary Order of R-”

“Yeah see that isn’t what I ordered."

"The Le-"

"Are all workers here this incompetent?☆” Shuzo’s lips curl up into a cat mouth as he stares up at his waiter.

“THE LEGENDARY ORDER OF ROOTY TOOTY FRESH ‘N FRUITY® PANCAKES.” Yaiba picks up a pancake off Shuzo’s plate and jams it into his mouth to shut him up.

Shuzo makes choking sounds as Yaiba places Kai’s order down.

“And your cock waffles.”

  
Yaiba picks up the pot of burning hot coffee that is placed on every table at IHOP and begins chugging it. Steam fogs up his glasses and liquids roll down his chin. He slams it on the table when he’s done, shattering it into pieces.

“Hey.” An elderly man wearing fancy clothing calls to Yaiba from a room labeled “STAFF.” His name tag reads “Jii.”

“Who’s that?” Crow asks as he stuffs the pancakes down his pants.

“My boss…” Yaiba trembles, fearing for the worst. He walks over to him to see what’s up, and they both disappear into the staff room.

“HEY SHUZO!” Crow yells at the top of his lungs when said person is right next to him. “WATCH THIS!” He brings his meal to his mouth and unhinges his jaw, trying to consume the raw egg yolk. It slips from his lips and plops back down on the plate, he goes after it again, only for the same thing to happen. Crow struggles to get a grasp on the yolk, desperately licking at it and chomping down but to no avail, it’s too slippery. He

  
  
After a solid twenty minutes of that, Crow finally wraps his very long tongue around the raw egg yolk, consuming it whole. Then he tips the plate up and drinks the raw liquid egg whites. Maple is no more.

Shuzo looks up from his Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity® Pancakes. “Ah sorry, what was that?”

“You mean you weren’t watching?? FUCK!” Weird strangling sounds come from Crow's throat as he attempts to regurgitate the egg to try to intimide Shuzo again.

“Quit it!” Rom slaps him on the back, causing the egg to be reswallowed, for good this time.

Yaiba emerges from the staff room, now wearing a plain white T-shirt.

“What’d he say?” Rom asks through a mouthful of bacon.

“He said my top is too revealing for an employee, so he gave me this.” Yaiba gestures to the shirt, immediately taking it off.

“Ghhrghhrhzzrghrhzhrgrhz..” Kai guzzles on his cock waffles.

“If you keep making noises like that we’ll need to go back to the bathroom floor, darling~” Shuzo teases. “Ah, speaking of which, I actually do need to use the bathroom now though, too much vodka. If you’ll excuse me.”

“Oh!” Kai swallows his food, “Finally! I’ve been waiting, I’m so thirsty. Here.” Kai hands him the empty glass he had asked Yaiba for.

Shuzo stares at Kai. Kai stares at him back. Shuzo wordlessly takes the glass and walks off.

“What the fuck.” Crow states.

“Nnnhhhggg. I’m a thirsty little flower. Shuzo has to water me. He has to use his pee.”

“What the FUCK.” Crow restates, with more gusto.

“I’m back, sweetheart, sorry to keep you waiting☆” Shuzo places the glass, now full with yellow liquid, in front of Kai.

Gulugulugulu, Kai drinks the entire thing in one gulp. “Hnngg.. It’s so warm, just like my pure love for you..”

Shuzo smiles, cheeks tinting a light pink, “Oh Kai.. You have such a way with words..”

“I want you to nut in my asshole so I can drag my bussy across the floor and pretend I’m a snail.”

“O-Oh Kai…” His boyfriend moans, face now completely red.

Rom and Crow watch this exchange with matching looks of horror, both sliding their plates away as they are unable to stomach any more food at the moment.

A loud banging startles them all out of the moment. Muffled yelling can be heard from their seats. Yaiba sighs loudly, “I’ll be right back.” Before he goes, he steals a piece of bacon of Rom’s plate, “I'll need this.”

The fox myumon makes his way towards the IHOP entrance, where he sees the drummer of a band called Dolly Dolci pressed against the glass windows next to the door.

Bang. Bang. Pig Macaron smashes her fists down. “PLWEASE LET ME I,NN!!!!!!” She screams, hurdling her body at the window, “HEWLP ME!!!!!”

Yaiba gently flips the “OPEN” sign to “CLOSED” with practiced precision, “We’re closed.”

Pig Macaron vibrates, “LET ME IN!!!! PLWOEUS I’M S O H UN GRY!!!!!"

“We’re closed.” Yaiba repeats.

She begins violently ramming her face into the glass, “W-wweehh, aww blease waa wwehh hhweh hwh heeh ehweeehhh!”

Yaiba takes out the singular slice of bacon and brings it to his lips, locking eyes with Pig Macaron and slowly taking a bite.

She squeals loudly, with fear or excitement, we do not know.

Yaiba makes sure to chew leisurely, not breaking eye contact once until the bacon is completely gone. A threat.

Without another word he turns on his heel, walking back to his Boyz.

* * *

At the booths, Shuzo and Kai have finished up their meals.

“Mmmhh those were some tasty cock waffles, not as good as your cock waffle though!” Kai beams at his snookums.

“We’re right fucking here!” Crow shoves the fork into his mouth despite there being no food on it.

“God I can’t wait to pound you into the mattress when we get back to our big fancy big expensive big rich mansion.” Shuzo purrs, flipping through his thicc wallet to pay for their food.

Crow gives Rom a “Are these guys for real?” look. Rom inserts a piece of bacon into his mouth and gets an idea, looking to his bf, “I’m so glad I have someone who can actually handle my barbs.”

Shuzo's expression turns ice cold in an instant, and he looks to Kai, “I’m so glad I have someone who can actually handle my sadistic sea slug kink.☆”

“What.”

“What.”

“I'm so squishy, uguwumhmfu~” Kai squirms in his seat at the thought of it.

Shuzo looks to Rom, “We both know I’m not a bottom,” He slaps some money on the table, “You jackass.”

The pair stand, “Well that was a nice meal. It was awful seeing you Rom, bye.” Shuzo slaps Kai’s ass before slipping a hand around his waist, making their exit.

When they’re out of sight, Crow lets out a big sigh, “That was so stressful.”

“I know a few ways I can help relieve that stress.” Rom rips off his shirt, bacon and lube flying everywhere.

“Oh yeah?” Crow unravels his tongue.

“Y-Yueni.” Yaiba yueni’s as he comes back to see the giant wad of cash on the table Shuzo was once at.

Crow whistles, “Way to go Yaiba! Now you can treat us all to ramen whenever we want!”

As Yaiba counts out the sound dollars his smile grows wider and wider, “Amazing! I don’t have to work here anymore with this much cash, hence-”

“So you have enough money for the freaky dildo you want?” Rom asks.

“...Yes.”

“Nice!” Rom slaps him on the back, “I want to be the first one to use it on you.”

Yaiba blushes. He neatly folds the money up and puts it in his pocket, then picks up the dirty dishes on the table. “If you’ll excuse me.”

The edgy pair finishes eating when Crow realizes something, “Wait. Wheres Aion? Doesn’t he work here too? Where is my big boi?”

“O shitto, you’re right, wanna look for him?”

“You know it!” Crow hops out of his seat and jumps onto Rom’s back, clinging to him like a baby orangutan.

* * *

Shuzo and Kai walk out the door to find a pig myumon on the ground.

“Uh..” Kai starts.

“Just keep walking.” Shuzo whispers.

“Shuzo!?!” Pig Macaron instantly bounces up, “I-II-mIM-N i iI’M such a big fan…..”

“Ahaha… Thank you~!” He flashes a peace sign.

“Could I get an autograph?” She nervously holds out a piece of paper.

“Sure thing☆” Shuzo takes the paper and begins writing on it.

“I’m a drummer too!” Pig Macaron exclaims to Kai.

Kai winks, causing her ass to go numb.

“Here you are~! Thank you for your support, bye bye☆” Shuzo hands her back her paper and gets into his limo with Kai.

Pig Macaron can’t believe it, she met the #1 idol of Midi City, she’s so happy she could almost cry! When she looks down expecting to see Shuzo’s beautiful autograph, all she sees is this:

* * *

Rom ventures up and down the aisles of booths in search of Aion.

“OI! Fingers!” Crow yells, “Oh hey, look there. It’s his call for help.”

Rom stops in his tracks when he sees it, a finger stretched across the room. They've found him.

They both take note of the third member of Trichronika sobbing into a plate of pancakes, Aion’s finger intruding across his table.

“The poor guy..” Crow says sympathetically, he's been there before, they all have.

Rom follows the appendage to the kitchen and opens the door, where they both see Aion snuggled up in the corner fast asleep. His long hair is all tangled around the stove top coils for some reason.

Crow slides down Rom’s back like a stripper pole, “H-”

“HEY!” Yaiba shouts, standing at the entrance of the kitchen door. “IHOP chillin dont fucken @ him hes chillin.”

Crow wordlessly ignites the stove stop. Tick tick tick tick FWOOSH. Aion’s hair immediately goes up in flames.

“Great now he’s on fire.” Rom deadpans.

They stand there watching The Big Man slowly roast, “Haha,” Yaiba starts, “Isn’t this kind of like a parallel to the last fic? Yueni-”

**“AION YOUR AIONS”** Crow yells at the top of his lungs. They all laugh at the funny joke. Aion continues to snnnnzzzzz.

“So why did Aion need this job anyways? He doesn’t seem like the type to wanna buy sex toys.” Crow inquires.

“Hmmhh,” Yaiba looks to his bandmates with a serious look on his face, “Have you seen the news reports of the cloaked figure dropping raw meat on North Carolina playgrounds? Hence-”

Rom’s face lights up with recognition, “Yeah I’ve heard about that.”

“It’s him. Aion’s the cloaked figure. But he ran out of raw meat.”

“Why the hell’s this guy gettin a job to buy meat when he’s got some meat right here?” Crow unzips and whips his dick around. “Huh? Huh?” He unzips Rom and Yaiba and whips their dicks around too.

“Haha nice one Crow!” Crow high fives himself.

“Ah, since when were the walls on fire too?” Rom points to the entire kitchen around them suddenly engulfed in flames.

“Well, they shouldn’t be. Aion is the only thing on fire but he isn’t even near the walls? This might be a problem.” Yaiba pushes his glasses up.

Outside, Riku stares at the raging fire that was once an IHOP. A gallon of gasoline in one hand and a book of matches in the other. They’ll all pay for ruining his night, they’ll all pay.

**Author's Note:**

> i know usually its both kai & cherry who write fics on this account, but i (kai) went solo this time eheh.
> 
> hope ya enjoyed, please talk to me about kaishuu @shuzofucker69 on twitter or memedong on tumblr im dying squirtle.
> 
> thanks jack @romfucker for the you know i had to do it to em rom pic


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